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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  June 16, 2015 1:07am-1:41am PDT

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because you stayed there took a selfie and hung it prominently on the wall. hm? they won't judge your life choices. - how are you feeling, bubbe? - better. thanks. - you look a lot better. - yeah, looks like western medicine really did the trick. - hey, thanks for going through all that to save my life, stan. - dude, you're my best friend. i don't want you to die until i do. - yeah, hey, man, we're glad you're getting better too. - hey--hey, what's going on? - kyle's all better, cartman, thanks to you. - huh? - it was all a trick. your mom undid the kidney blocker and then we put ketchup in your bed so you'd think we took your kidney. - yes, but it was all just a trick to get you to come in and sign this release. - isn't that funny, sweetie? - ugh, i am so pissed off! - oh, here's everybody. - hey, mr. garrison. where have you been? - boys, i have an announcement to make. i'm not gonna be your teacher anymore. i've become a best-selling author, and, kyle, i want you to have a signed copy as a get-well present. - oh. thanks? - i swear i'm gonna kill you guys! - careful, cartman. you might pop your stitches. [both laugh]
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- what the-- - oh, good you got the crappy kidney. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause)
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>> jon: welcome to the daily show. we have a good show for you tonight. good friend judd apatow is going to be on the program tonightment he'll talk all about a book he's been writing. i'm to the going to talk about the guest right now i will begin tonight's show with-- you know, i don't have that many but a bran new segment. it's called whaat? >> it all came crashing down for n.a.a.c.p. spokane president rachel dolezal who had been portraying herself as a black woman for the past ten years. >> jon: whaat? whaat? that's crazy. there's an ncaacp chapter in spokane? all right. ten years of pretending to be a black woman. interesting. what is she? >> ruth ann and lawrence dolezal say their 37-year-old daughter is
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white. >> they say their ancest ree is czech swedish and german. >> jon: whaat? ruff laugh czech swedish and german. really [bleep] white. (laughter) even powder is like that's one white lady. that's a white lady. she's white. but that-- underrated underrated. so this woman took this lie very far. at this point you got to wonder, does she even know she's lying any more. >> are you african-american? >> i done-- i don't understand the question (laughter) >> jon: do her mouth says i
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don't understand the question. but her eyes say [bleep] [bleep]. i'm busted. now an on-camera interview like that is generally followed by, well let's see what it is followed by. >> rachel dolezal has stepped down now as president of spokane washington's chapter of the n.a.a.c.p.. >> jon: yeah that's usually how it goes. and so ends another uniquely bizarre segment of whaaat? unless of course somebody wants to take a singular incident unrepresentative of any large err construct or trend and force it into the exhausting 24 hour benghazi obama phone culture war dog whistle who gives [bleep]. >> we limit the society where we subsidize identity. >> i think it's typical of liberal. >> the lib
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call-- liberalment in this is country is very much in this transrace kind of moment. >> eric holder says there is still pernicious racism in america if racism was so per mi news why would a white woman pretend to be black. >> jon: yes, yes why would a singular whit person. >> you might also ask perhaps more appropriately if being black is such a sweelt deal y are millions of white people ignoring this once in a lifetime opportunity. (laughter) how do you make all these sweeping generalizations about it anyway. one lady. one lady. una mass lady in washington state's second largest city pretending to be black. that clarely lib really culture has reached its nadir. rome has fallen yet racism is over t is the best of times it is the worst of times all because a german lady got a weave. but-- i can't think of another case of this. it mostly just happens in movies from what i
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understand. anyway, for more on this complicated and sensitive story we're joined by a senior black correspondent our senior black -- -- >> sorry jon sorry sorry. (cheers and applause) >> jon: what are you doing? >> i know i'm late. cop pulled me over on the way to work again today. you know driving while black. >> jon: you're-- you're not black. >> not, 100 percent no. >> jon: no percent. you are's unbelievably white. if i couldn't smell you i would think you were a ghost you're that white you're white. (laughter) >> i'm black. >> jon: you're telling me that you are african-american? >> i don't understand the
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question. >> jon: no i-- you can cover the story that's not a problem. but not as the black correspondent,s in as the black correspondent it can't be done. >> black people get everything in this country. >> jon: they-- like what? >> everything. like some colleges give extra points on your admissions free street massages. >> jon: that's called stop and frisk. it's not-- that's not -- >> i got-- i have t i have t there's other things. oh, oh the n word, the "n" word, i wasn't allowed to say it when i was quite but now-- . >> jon: whoa whoa whoa wloe. >> all right relax hell no okay. >> jon: all right, all right. okay thank god. >> get up off the table. >> no i will not give up my sweet. >> oh so now you're rosa parks. >> yeah just -- >> scoot over just scoot for me thank you. i need a little more room.
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i am a black woman. >> we're both african-american. >> no we're in the. >> i think we are. >> i don't get this ramp el dolezal, as if being a woman wasn't struggle enough for her. >> jon: i feel like for her sometimes you do something wrong enough and you convince yourself and you want to try new things i guess. >> but you can't just appropriate persecution just because it's cool its-- if being black didn't pick you you can't just suit up and be on the field. there is no walk on. >> jon: no walk on for team black. yet there she is an she is working and advocating for black causes. >> right burke she still could have done that as a white person probably more effectively than a [bleep] person, she didn't have to iggy it. >> jon: iggy. >> azalea. >> who dat who dat i-g-g-y. hate that i hate that it's totally offensive. >> jon: so rachel dolezal is iggy azalea. >> no she's worse.
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iggy asks blacks to make money but iggy is not fooling anybody rachel singled out white females black while. we we need allies not replacements. >> i feel you not all skinny white men. >> i don't think that say veiled #. >> jon: jordan klepper continuation is not about hashtag. we'll be right back. it's not about-- ♪ (music plays throughout) ♪ wow.
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ed. >> jon: welcome back. you know when it comes to presidential elections nobody votes till iowa et slos. iowas have earned this position. (laughter) or not. al madrigal reports. >> with the 2016 presidential election a little more than a year away can cats are getting their
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iowa on. showing their ready to be president by riding trackers judging butter sculptures and joining incredibly nonthreatening motorcycle gangs. yet some think the state was .97% of our population shouldn't get this much attention. >> iowa should not be the first state to vote. iowa is unrepresentative of the u.s. it has fewer minorities. it has highly agricultural base where we are largely an urban and suburban country. >> iowa's concerns represents concerns of normal americans. what do i do with all this corn. i'm bored. where can i deep fry this. oh my god i'm having cheses pains. >> most americans don't wake up in the morning and worry about whether or not they're going to deep fry corn. >> stop you right there. i am a half mexican man. from an urban area. and that's all i'm [bleep]
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thinking about so you're wrong. >> it's iowans down home know-how that makes them the right choice. >> let me tell you something about the people in iowa. they have homespun wisdom small town values. >> to say they have a monopoly on the wisdom or monopoly on small town values is to disregard the other 300 million people in the united states. >> what? i have had enough of your iowa bashing for one day. i'm going to iowa right now. >> oh-- all the corn? >> iowa, there isn't a group of people in america more qualified to pick the next leader of the free world than iowans. just ask iowan stefan schmitt. >> it's an honor.
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it's a job. it's kind of a responsibility to be first in selecting or at least in voting for who we prefer for president. >> are you being very nonchall ablt-- chalant come on don't bull [bleep] me. you like being kingmakers don't you? >> we like being first because it's good for the economy. >> oh, look there's ted cruz. >> hillary rick santorum is here. >> it's interesting to see for political scientists how people change their message. >> you love it don't you? >> yeah. >> (laughter) >> i do love it. i headed out to meet the nonjewish chosen ones to see their in depth selection process up close. >> oh queens of the caucus keepers of the coin who
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will win the democratic nomination for president in the next election. >> hill rae. >> hillary. >> i haven't seen the face although-- i don't know how long it's been since hillary has walked down with real peopling on ground where the rest of us are. >> your convictions are as deep as everything else on this table is fried. good day. >> iowa is the perfect training ground to prepare our presidents for the world stage. >> how does a candidate react to the largest hog in the world which is always at the state fair. >> sure. and how they react to the hog is possibly a reflection on how they're going to lead our armed forces. >> or how they might react to meeting unusual international leaders that give them surprises yes. >> which of course is an extromly likely scenario. >> there should be some rotation of the states in the delegate selection process. >> rotation would make a significant difference so that every state has an
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opportunity. >> so what states would you have us rotate to? >> well you know you might want to start in new york. >> too jewish. >> alabama then. >> not jewish enough. >> new mexico. >> new mexico rick really? >> why not. >> you're going vour candidate pass raid themselves around in front of some burned out hippy [bleep] in santa ray? san fay? >> although iowa almost never picks candidates who win, what is the harm? >> because iowa is first in the nation, there are certain issues that are highlighted that may not have national input. taketh knoll, for instance. >> of course wonderful ethanol where sure taxpayers pay $6 billion a year for a fuel source that environmentalists say is worse than gasoline but they're wrong because iowa says they are wrong. >> right? >> the ethanol lobby has a lot of power and a lot of money. ethanol should not have such
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a significant importance. >> [bleep]. >> in the issues facing our presidential campaign. >> [bleep] crazy. hey rick don't get us [bleep] in a lot of trouble over this interview. it's not worth it. i'm coming hear talk talking this smack about ethanol is [bleep]. >> but not before i enjoy my time in iowa. (cheers and applause) >> jon: al madrigal we'll are you up for whatever? don't answer. grab a bud light and show it. try new things make new friends explore new places. find the fun around every corner. better yet, be the fun. laugh. dance. spin. jump! make a single weekend last a lifetime. and keep it going with a crisp refreshing bud light. the perfect beer for whatever happens.
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(cheers and applause) my guest tonight writer director, you producer his full im-- new fill train wreck is out in july. a new book thick in heck conversations about life and comedy, please welcome back to the program judd apatow. judd. (applause) you like my '90 comic outfit. >> it 1990see comic outfit. >> you have to do a little of this though. >> you have to soulful it up a little bit and go no one understand was we're saying. you are back doing stand-up. >> i am, perform teg beacon theater tonight. >> so this book judd has been working on let me show it over here. this is conversations with various comedians various people am you have been working on this since you
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were like 12. >> exactly. 15 i interviewed seinfeld when i was 15 steve allen for high high school radio station and did a bunch of new ones including one with you for the book. >> jon: yes. we you interviewed me via phone. >> that's right. and coy tell on the phone that you were going to quit the show, i could tell. >> jon: on the phone? >> i said. >> jon: how on the phone? >> i think that one home where you said oh god oh god i'm out of gas. what am i going to do. (laughter) >> jon: so you felt like that gave it away. look at this. so this is-- see if you can get this. okay. that's you at like 15 with jay leno. and then right over here is you being interviewed. has that, i just find that. >> look at that wait wait look at me with green shorts and dennis miller. >> jon: holy [bleep] look at denis's hair too. look at that. that is prime miller right there. >> lack at that hair. >> jon: i got to tell you man that's a great head of
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hair. but has anyone ever been able to-- you interviewed leno was an idol of yours you loved comedy you were a comedy nerd. you go out and immediate him you talk to him 20 years later you are sitting on his show that had to be surreal. >> it really was. i just wanted to talk to comedians there were no pod ca&a, there was no internet. the only way to ask a comedian how to did it was to trick them into doing a high school radio station and a-- cuz i would tell them it was a real radio show because i could call a publicist in l.a. and say hi i'm from wkwz on long island and i would show up in seinfeld's apartment and he would be like oh you're a child. >> jon: i don't think it would work today. i don't think you could do-- i don't think-- this strikes me as something that could only have been done in a more innocent age. >> yeah cuz they called me kids will call me and say you did it when you were a kid, will you do if for me. i say absolutely not. >> jon: that is just science that's just fair.
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>> exactly. >> jon: but and there is a great story about steve martin. you told it a bunch of times but how many people accepted the challenge or just most people tell you to [bleep] off. >> most people-- . >> jon: the interview. >> almost everybody said yes. >> jon: was there somebody that you met back then who didn't remember remember this and so when you went back up they were stunned at oh you are that kid? >> most people don't remember it thank god there are very few people that remembered. alan-- the great writer from "saturday night live" and tons of great movies he was nice enough after its interview he took out his phone become and said here is rodsny dangerfield here's al fracken's home number. he was the greatest guy ever. thank you. >> jon: meanwhile those guys are like what the [bleep] did you do! >> why you bothering me kid. >> jon: all right. this is judd and i on the set of larry sanders right
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or was that at your -- >> that's my birthday during larry sanders. that was 17 years ago. we both look great. neither of us have gotten gray it's fantastic. >> jon: you're right neither of us look like we have hepatitis or anything we both look great. >> we have gone gray faster than a president at war. >> jon: it s and for no reason. everything is good. >> there's nothing to complain about. >> jon: yeah t really makes to sense, there is nothing to complain about but as jews as comedians we find stuff. >> yeah, we do. >> i have to say. >> jon: we do. >> i'm very happy to be here. it hasn't been like the final loop of people saying thank you and good-bye. >> jon: we're not doing that. we're trying not to do that we're just trying to do our show and then that is why we're leaving in august we figure everybody is on vacation, it will be fine. >> so letterman you saw bill murray and-- george clooney will you have cornell west at the end or what are you going to do? >> jon: we're just going to have some affects from the
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u.n. come by, just do a model u.n. and then we're going to get out. i am just going to invite friends comic friends, otherwise it puts so much pressure and the guest feels like you have to deliver something special is and we have to have a moment and everybody knows no i don't. >> because i would like to have an emotional moment with youment i would like to do one where we stare into each other's eyes and just feel it silently. >> don't look away jon, you have to look the whole time. >> jon: i really can only do this for like two seconds. >> that's will all i got. >> jon: can i tell you what is weird about my moment. >> yes. >> jon: now i no he what you had for lunch. i can see it right up here. >> i had a burger i had a burger. >> jon: i know. it is on the book shelves now. train wreck which by the way is phenomenal. >> i agree. >> jon: really,. >> and lebron james is even funny.
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>> jon: that-- can i tell you something and i mean this [bleep] pisses me off. >> that sour area. >> jon: because it is like are you the greatest basketball player in maybe even in history, are you certainly the greatest player right now. like leave a little something for the -- >> the jews. >> jon: thank you. train wreck in theaters july ♪nyan mbaï ngueda koba♪ ♪a teraga ndiki bonguè♪ ♪a teraga ndiki bo♪ ♪a teraga ndiki bo♪ ♪nyan mbaï ngueda koba♪ ♪nyan mbaï / biniigana gwo ni gwo♪ sooo, you're all set to book a flight using rewards miles from your airline credit card. but then the illusion begins. the flights you really want - surprise - they're not available because they cost a ridiculous number of miles. enough is enough... switch to the capital one venture card. with venture, you'll earn unlimited double miles. and using those miles is easy.
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